Confession is good for the soul, right?
Well, as an administrator, I pride myself on a planned, organized, low-drama life. But due to my own failure and to life circumstance, the last few weeks of life have been anything but low drama.
I think God has called me to be an administrator because I need those lessons myself. From air conditioners, to cars, to logistics, to stewardship, to family transition, to back-to-school, life will have places that challenge us.
In the last couple of weeks, I have beat myself up about all of this. I am a 1 on the Enneagram, an ENTJ on the Myers-Briggs, and a recovering-perfectionist. When things don’t go according to plan, I am not in my happy place. Now, as life (and toddlers) have taught me, there is always something that doesn’t go according to plan and life is still beautiful.
I cling to the following things in the midst of this roller coaster of life:
- I am not perfect. God is perfect. – For many years, I drove myself crazy striving for perfection in everything. Don’t get me wrong, I still have very high standards, but I cling to the grace and love that God gives me even when I am less than perfect (every day, right?). I also give thanks that there is a God that makes the fractured places whole, makes the rough places plain, and makes the beauty from chaos. “Every valley shall be raised up, every mountain and hill made low; the rough ground shall become level, the rugged places a plain.” – Isaiah 40:4
- Don’t lose today for tomorrow – I try to plan out every scenario of possibilities. In the past, I have found myself getting lost in the planning of possibilities and missing out on the blessings of today. Even as an administrator, I have to catch myself planning too much and not being present. Plans are good but not at the sacrifice of the beauty of the present moment. “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6:34
- God’s justice is just, not fair. – God’s justice is not the world’s justice. At times what we think we deserve is not what we are given, not because God doesn’t love us or care for us, but because God has a different way of things. It may not be understandable at the time, but we have to have peace in the mystery of God’s ways. “‘I am not being unfair to you, friend. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the one who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’” – Matthew 20:13-15
I hope your week has been less dramatic than mine, but I hope you will cling to the promises that God has for us. Blessings on your work and ministry. – Micah